Sunday, January 06, 2008 @9:44 pm
argh.I'm seriously going to go mental soon.
I think I understand why I prefer talking to God about this,because I know He won't nag at me.And even if He does,it makes perfect sense,because only He knows perfectly well what in the world is going on now.I thought that maybe going to you would have helped.I know that I shouldn't expect any words of sympathy or encouragement or what not.If you really knew what to say because of what's going on then fine.But somehow it doesn't seem right and I hate people nagging at me especially if they don't know fully what's going on.I don't know fully either but it would have been nice for you to not nag at me and..I don't know,anything but nag!
My head's seriously spinning,I can't think straight not even for one moment.I just don't want to think about anything anymore,it's just too tiring.I know running away isn't gonna help,but seriously what can I do now?!Nothing,I just want to sit on the fence.But I don't want to sit on the fence and just watch them wilt.I don't want to advise,I suck at that.I just want to help prevent a disaster from happening.I seriously know too much,definitely more than I can handle..
You know things weren't supposed to be this way.I still think and cry at nights or even when I'm alone I start thinking about it and things start to trigger my memory.Why do I still hurt?Why can't I just forget?Maybe I'm still holding on,why I don't know..why can't you finish what you've started?
why can't you understand?