Sunday, September 16, 2007 @5:46 pm
I think I'm psychotic.Seriously,I always somehow spout nonsense and say things or do things that I never meant to say or do.I need help,badly.
I still feel like giving up,but would it mean that I'm giving up on God?
Today's sermon was good,really good because well things that I needed to know were said and I just really thank God for helping me earlier in the morning...
But if I am going to give up,I'm gonna give it up
TO GOD. (=
I can't do anything,there's nothing within my reach.And even though I feel like I'm breaking inside...Trust and faith.I had this really really weird dream that kinda scared me.I could literally feel my heart stop like it did in my dream.I remember who was in my dream and its' kinda hard to forget the person and what he said.
"I just want to make you happy." -shivers- haha mainly its because who said that in my dream.
My body,ok mainly upper arms and lower back hurts like crazy.Val Cheng and I were complaining to each other today which was quite amusing.I think it's because when we did our flip,roll thing our partners didn't hold us properly or we didn't do it properly.But other than that,dance was awesomely fun!Haha I think it was much more fun than last year's easter play dance though its still quite fun.Heard from Matt that this year's cast is not bad.
My twin brother is acting!Haha,correction,my long lost twin brother,Marcus is acting which was quite an amusing idea at first.
Oh yes,the idiot wished me a happy belated birthday today while at the welcome centre before he went off to meet his dad.I just stared (ok,maybe glared at him) at him and he had this weird look and offered me the last piece of his already eaten cheese bread.Sigh,idiot.Hahaha
I'm lacking sleep quite badly and apparently,it shows.Sarah was asking me this morning before we entered the CNS if I had enough sleep.Dad keeps on telling me to get sufficient rest.Somehow I think I've adapted to my usual regime of 5 hours of sleep a day,being able to function on those 5 miserable hours of sleep.
Two more weeks till exams.I'm not prepared.
I know that no matter the amount of times I apologize,it'll all just be blown away by the wind.Either way I'm still sorry for the way I've treated you...Somehow things aren't normal,they're crazily insanely annoyingly difficult.And right now I know no matter what I try to do or say to try to salvage what's left,it won't work.Maybe I'm some in-signification fool who's trying too hard,but I trust that in time,God will make things right.She screams and cries asking why
Why did she have to suffer in misery
Why did she have to keep on losing
Why was she alone,with no-one that she could depend on,who could be there for her almost 24/7 physically.
Why did everyone else have that someone
Why did she have to pretend
Why is there no love given to her
and she brought her knees to her chin,crying,praying and asking God why,why,why?
The answer then came to her in the form of Him and He whispered
"Don't cry little child".
Labels: church, Daddy God, days, Thoughts