Thursday, March 01, 2007 @8:48 pm
Alas!The CAs are over.Which explains my disappearance (But ok,truthfully,that didn't really help because I still got distracted a lot hence the motivation to do better for the Mid-terms.)
I think I could like you
I already do
Feelings can grow but they can go away too
You're taking my hands
Looking into my eyes
Don't be a rush to
Get me tonightI've gotten a few papers back already.All glory to God!I've not failed anything as of yet.Thankfully.Though I'm not satisfied with the marks in blood red that flashes at me from the thin white piece of paper,still I passed!
Ok,this entry is pretty useless on updating on what I've been doing because I can't remember what I did the past I have no idea how many days that I have not updated.All I've to say is I've been busy,busy,busy!And I'm going to get busier soon.Oh dear.And its the RGS swim carnival next Friday and all that's going through my mind is 'I am too slow!Grawh.' and it is showing during training sessions.I am SLOW.For example,yesterday we had to swim in the rain and I was feeling lazy so I swam slow.And for the dreaded breaststroke I was the LAST.Oh but I like it when we swim backstroke because I get to cheat by pulling myself using the buoys at the sides.Hehe.My kicks are slower too!Tomorrow had better not rain because I'm going to push myself 110% to improve!
Oh PE was kind of amusing.I wanted to run my 2.4 again to improve to below 14 minutes but I got stopped halfway by my teacher because he forgot that I was going to run again.Le sigh,so I jogged back to my class and we did sit-ups and I did 32 and I got a bruise on my left at the back.Stupid bench.Did 5 pull ups which is really amazing 'cuz I've not done that for really long!Ok aim for NAPFA this year is a silver.(Eh,its an improvement ok,I've been really slack in primary school and was super happy last year when I got a bronze kay!Haha)
Wow,ok I wrote quite a bit already.Oh wells.
Feel something happening
Could this be a spark?
To satisfy me baby
Gotta satisfy my heartI was randomly reading livejournals/blogs and I stumbled across this really sweet entry which was about the writer's valentine's.Her boyfriend was super sweet to go through all the trouble to surprise her on valentine's by making her worry so much and then surprising her with so much.And what made me go ohmygosh even more was how much they really cared and loved each other.And its not those cliche love stories that you see in theaters and read and what not.
What made it even more sweet was that it was love that was not all hugs and kisses,materialistic love,physical or whatever but just genuine feelings.
I think that this longing for love has made me crazy and desperate.So much so that when I seek love from my first love,I forget how to do it and how to really love Him genuinely with all my heart and soul.But that is going to change now.(=
I think this desire to feel human love has made me so willing to fall into it that sometimes I fall into it blindly and forget everything else.All that I wanted along with this sweet feeling is gone and now as I think back,I really want it all.I want to start over.To feel God's love come through another human and God's love through the holy spirit within me.
Listened to JoJo's 'How to touch a girl'.The song doesn't sound nice but the lyrics hit me like a gust of wind.I think its been my fairytale dream ever since I was little to be truely loved so sweetly and tenderly.Since I've felt the lack of it forever.But ironically,I'm afraid of it and I don't think I'm ready.
I want a sweet simple genuine love,I want to be loved by You,Daddy God.
Do you know how to touch a girl?
If you want me so much
First I have to know
Are you thoughtful and kind?
Do you care what's on my mind?
Or am I just for show?