Thursday, July 20, 2006 @10:06 pm
Mmm...just finished watching my new favourite chinese drama serial on channel 8.
Realised something...after watching the little boy play at the beach (I miss the beach alottt. =(( ) and when his dad told him to obey his mother if he wasn't around/seperated from him.The little boy cried and hugged his daddy ever so tightly and went "Daddy ni bu yao li wo!Wo bu yao li kai ni!" it was super upsetting and touching.And yeah,I cried..mmhmm..
What struck me was his childlike innocence.I remember listening or reading somewhere that we should submit to God with a childlike mind.When you're a child nothing in the world matters to you except your family,friends and love.All you have to do is to depend on your parents to teach you the ways.For a christian child,all you have to do is to depend and trust in Daddy God.
You can always be happy,carefree and yourself,not caring about what others think of you.Walking out on the streets in PJs is nothing when you're little.Nothing can bring you down except the loud scoldings or when your loved ones quarrel.Innocence resides in you,all the terrors and numbness other people feel is hidden.Though you may live in this fake happy world,the innocence will paint a perfect picture and everything will feel right.
Love is always showered upon you.Attention is given 24/7 because of that cute look on your face.Your mind won't be polluted with vulgarities or sick stuff.Instead it'll be filled with images of perfectly drawn pieces of art in which the world is where you want it to be.
I miss that.All that.
I guess the reason why I act the way I do in church is because I miss my childhood.I miss that childhood innocence.
I'm really happy that I'm showered with all the love and care by my church friends.But I still miss that childhood innocence.I guess I have always grown up in fear,hence my quietness.Its just something that I've grown used to.
I want this childlike mindset in me for Daddy God...
influential love...?my head's spinning,my mind's a whirl,my heart,pounding. perhaps....no..never..it shouldn't..