Saturday, August 20, 2005 @11:00 am
Had a very bad headache yesterday,so I didn't update...Nothing special happened at all,so yeah.
I'm feeling really emotional.Call me a sentimental fool if you will.Recently I've been crying alot,I broke down a few times due to my building up of "stress" and anger.I have to learn how to control my emotions and learn to stand my irratating english teacher,no matter how idiotic she is.I realise I cry at the smallest of things,almost anything and everything triggers my tears.
On the day where I got fed up and pissed off,I actually shouted at my sec ones.I was so fed up because they didn't move and I pulled one of them out.After that I regretted my actions and ran away.I ran to Trizia and I told her I wanted to cry,Cheryl and Atiqah were there too and my tears were already falling.Then Trizia gave me a hug and I ran to find faith and was crying on the way to the D&T room.I heard from Atiqah that after I left,Trizia,Cheryl and Atiqah all felt like crying.This is the one time where I felt like we were "bonding",I can't wait for our next year's mission trip so that we can all bond and be as one board. =)
Continuing...
I really want someone I can talk to about anything and everything knowing that that certain person won't put you down or shatter your hopes or anything.But there is a downside to that,that person can never help you change to be a better person in life.
I don't know,I feel small.I feel like I'm very fragile in emotions and all....
I sat there on the white smooth sand,watching the waves in the darkness with tears streaming down my face,never ending.I wanted to run,to run away from all my problems and be able to lie down on the sand,without a worry and fall asleep there,alone.But you came,you knew that I was feeling lonely by myself on the beach with the white sand,the darkness and the splash of the waves,even though I didn't say it,but showed it.You knew that I was freezing,like always.I didn't look at you when you sat down,without a word and looked at me.I stared at the calm sea,tears still rolling down...You saw the pain and hurt in my eyes,the fear and sadness.Not knowing what to do,you drapped your big warm jacket over me and hesitated before getting up to leave.You stopped when you felt me holding on,as if asking you to stay.You sat down again beside me and I turned to you and without saying anything,you held me in your arms,knowing that I needed a hug and I started crying all over again.You sat there with me,letting me cry continously until I stopped and fell asleep.You sat there looking at me,at how I slept and how wet my face was with the overflow of tears.You were there for me....
[something I just wrote out of the blue... =) ] -tazia-